It’s a beautiful summer evening, the breeze is soothing and sultry. I’m parking my car on the way back from dinner, and there’s an abnormally abundant number of parking spots available in my neighborhood.
Instant thought – people are out having a good time in this summer evening and I should be out there too.
This FOMO anxiety is the real deal. I feel like everyone is living a better life than me. Having more fun. I feel guilty for not finding something to do to enjoy that summer evening, even though I had just had a lovely dinner with my partner.
It’s a whole new angle on my anxiety that I’m just now starting to be aware of. It’s connected to why I over-plan weekends. Or why during the current thing (dinner, stroll, dancing), I’m planning the next one. I’m always thinking about the optimal way to get everything in.
Really really detracts from my ability to be present.
And I think that if I were able to be present with my current activity, serendipity would happen and I would find myself enjoying that evening in a healthy and organic way. For sometimes if you over-plan, you’re underwhelmed, and disappointed.
I’m thrilled to be observing these thought patterns. Awareness is always the first step.
As I get older, and my job and my personal life seem to get more serious, I feel like I’m constantly behind.
Throw in some hobbies, a side-hustle or two, and a writing practice, and I feel like I’m constantly coming up short.
I’ve often heard that life is about sacrifices. To do anything well requires focus.
I think I have a form of anxiety related to FOMO – Fear of Missing Out.
There’s so much I want to do and be good at – salsa dancing, jiujitsu, chess, building a game-changing deep technology startup that helps clean up the planet, Spanish.
Travel the world, father some children, spend time with the friends and family that I love being around. Go to concerts and dance parties. Oh and I still need to do errands, go to the doctor, clear up that issue with customer service, make food and coffee and clean up and shower and laundry.
What can I cut out? What is #1? Some of the most successful people seem to have made their business their one and only – everything else is secondary. Seems miserable.
Warren Buffet says to pick something like 25 things you’d like to do and then circle the top 5 and forget everything else. Let’s try:
My partner
Friends/Family
Health? Seems important
Work
Spending time in nature?
Pretty hard to do.
I guess there is no answer here. It’s just one of those things that’s frustrating and beautiful about life. There is so much good shit out there.
Makes me think of Steve Jobs’ messy desk. It just kept piling on and I’m quite sure he had a lot going on. But he made some pretty cool shit. And he did believe in focus and saying no to the 100 other good ideas that are out there.
I just need to be okay with the proverbial messy desk. And keep a few good priorities. The rest will happen or it won’t.
Looking at the world like Monet yields unbelievable levels of presence and ‘being in the now’.
Think about Monet’s paintings – half of the painting is often the reflection that he sees. I think people mostly don’t notice reflections in glass or mirrors or water. People often don’t pay attention to the way light is dappled or areas of light vs shade.
I’m no artist – but just noticing these things makes me feel completely present. I’m aware of where I am, what’s in the world around me. There’s actually a ton of beauty in those angles on the world, and they’re almost hidden in plain sight.
Keep an eye out for those things and you’ll know you’re in the here and the now.
What would the guy I want to be do in this situation?
I’m trying to use this as a guiding thought process any time I’m going to make a decision that I’m unsure about, or any time I’m feeling stress.
Would the guy I want to be have that drink?
Would the guy I want to be let that little thing irritate him, stick out in his mind, and ruin the entire day?
Would the guy I want to be give up on that project, miss that workout, or be too tired/lazy to go out and get that experience? Does that guy I want to be prefer to scroll instead of read/grow/learn?
